So you want to live forever?  Follow these four simple rules from your local med clinic:

1) Headache?  Kidney stone? Broken femur? Nothing a good old handful or two of Motrin can't solve

2) They say the human body is 60% water, and military docs know that's far too little.  In fact, if you're not pushing 97.2% fresh H2O you'll likely shrivel under a grueling PT workout.  Drink up

3) If you've been slogging through a tough ruck, running a few miles in battle rattle or MOPP gear, or just good old fashioned waffle stomping, changing your socks could mean the difference between life and death.

4) Everyone who has ever served knows the biggest threat to service members is not Iran, Al Qaeda, or ISIS.  The biggest threat is rogue bands of cars on base just waiting to run someone over who isn't fully reflective at dusk.  

With these simple tips emblazoned on a laser cut glow in the dark velcro backed cordera fabric patch, you'll never forget how to live forever.  Only 25 made and assembled by hand.